My biggest regret!!!

I have been thinking about it and have found my biggest regret to date. NO! Its not the fact that I haven't netted a girl in four years of college. Neither is it that I did not get a PhD admit. Its not even something like not being able to find a place in the Indian cricket team.

Its something far more substantial, and something I had full control of. Not having failed a single exam in my entire academic career till date. Forget an exam, I haven't even failed in an unit test.

I came mighty close on two occasions, but yet failed to fail. One was a unit test in electronics in my 11th standard. That was the only time my bad handwriting helped me pass. No one, not even the teachers knew the answers to the questions set. For most people in my class, who had good handwritings, the teachers would have felt extremely guilty to give marks to something obviously wrong. But in my case they wouldn't have been able to decipher what I had written, and would have come to the conclusion that there is a possibility that he has written some sense, so lets just ignore and give him pass marks. I got something like 22/50 and thus passed.

The second instance was in college. Bioprocess II. Here I had hardly any clue on what was happening, and the professor did. And very technically I failed the assessments. But this was in our 6th semester, the semester after which we are placed. The professor turned out to be a good guy, who didn't want an arrear to mar our chances to get a job. So he gave us a second chance. For all the people who failed in the internal assements, including me, he put the internal assessment score as 25/50 and thus essentially making us pass out assessments at least. So on record I still passed.

Well anyway I am mostly done with exams in the school or college sense, and will have to carry this regret with me till the end. Even if I do have to take such exams, looking at my record I hardly doubt that I will pass each of those.

The only silver lining in this dark cloud of regret is that I have never managed to cross 90% marks overall in any exam ever. I have been a consistent Mr. 80 - 90 %. And that speaks decently of my consistency!

Free Advise... Freely Given

It is so irritating. I am slowly becoming the old thatha that everyone fears. I hate people advising me, and I rarely if at all take up that advise. Unless that was the route i would have taken anyway. And similarly unless asked I would never give any suggestions. And even then only say what I did in a similar situation.

But when you are jobless and have nothing to do, you end up offering advise, that probably has no use to the person, but who listens to you anyway, as they have no other option.

I really hope that this does not get extrapolated and when I am really a thatha I don't pick random people and start off, "You have taken Biotechnoplogy, start searching for projectys and aim to do a phd. Its very easy to get through, I wqas a weird case. GRE is not important and you can score well anyway."

Oh! Hell! The thought is scary!

Maksat

I got thinking. What are my options ahead? And I came to the conclusion that there aren't too many. Its pretty irritating to realise for sure, that what Naseeruddin Shah says in Iqbal is true. "ज्यादा तर लोग, अपनी पूरी ज़िन्दगी बीता देते हैं यह जाने बगैर कि उनके जीने का मक्सत क्या हैं!"


Option 1: You have come so far and it hasn't hurt you yet. So makes sense to continue research.
Pro: Its a double positive. You'll have two careers. A researcher and a teacher. The odds favour liking both options and in any case definitely the latter.The second option being something that has always seemed like a calling. I have been doing it in one way or the other since the 9th standard. And it is I must say attractive. The changes of getting a position as a research scholar are also extremely good. No immediate financial liability either.
Con: In case it messes up you cannot even say the money is good and that is why I am in it.


Option 2: Get into the career of selling stuff or selling and buying companies selling stuff or a part thereof. Do an MBA.
Pro: Money will not be the issue ever.
Con: I really do not think I'll like selling stuff.

Option 3: Thanks to the education system and also honestly a natural disposition, the mind fits into the bureaucracy. So work for the government.
Pro: Odds favour job satisfaction being good.
Con: Too many people think the same way. The competition will be killing and the subjects that I have had to pass to become a B.Tech will not help me write the civil services exam. So getting the job will be almost impossible.

All other options are not pragmatic to consider at this juncture. Maybe a day will come when I am forced to consider them.

Till now option one and probably teaching seem to be जीने का मक्सत। 100 % conviction is still not there, but I must admit it is the closest to that figure that I have got to in memory. Even more convincing than, probably the feeling as a 7 or 8 year old that my ideal career would be an rail engine driver. The only issue is that though I know getting in would be a pain, option 3 still tugs a bit at the heart strings.