Saturday, August 2, 2008

5 most boring jobs on earth

First thing first. what is a job. a job is something that you choose to do. Nothing that is forced on you is counted. So something like the chinese water torture won't count.

So here goes the list:

5. Cook at the Anna University canteens: Lets go through a day in the life of a cook at the anna university canteen. Wake up, make sambhar, chutney, pongal, dosa batter and puri dough. Everything so close in taste with the day before's stuff and the day before that and so on, that you will be tempted to give them six sigma. Once this is done, prepare lunch. Same procedure. Make rice, sambhar, rasam, dry vegetable, kootu and churn buttermilk. No change in procedure day in and day out. Only the vegetabble changes. Here also the cook has no change from the mundane. Its the guy who buys vegetable who can have some fun. After this prepare for evening and night canteens. Prepare 'chola puri' batter , make mini idlis, make some weird rice dish, make biryani for the night canteenand then finally hang your boots.(the biryani has a nice story. they prepare chicken biryani. when the pieces get over they sell the same stuff as egg biryani, and when the egg also gets over they sell it as khukha) 365 days a year. No change in anything. They are so used to it that the taste also doesn't change.

4. Read Brat's poetry: Douglas Adams got it wrong. The world's worst poetry isn't written by some in a village in England. Its written by a dude residing in the A.U hostels in Chennai. The only reason why his intestine hasn't choked him yet is that the dude is extra intelligent and may get a nobel prize for saving humanity by some great discovery he makes.

3. Attending Sankaran's classes post lunch: The dude is so boring, in the words of Ashwin or R.S(they are still fighting for the copyright) that if I were him I'd avoid myself. And after lunch if you have attend a double class of his, it is nothing short of violation of human rights. Anyone beyond the 3rd row can't possibly stay awake. Technically people in the first 3 rows also shouldn't be able to stay awake, but those people have somehow managed to gain immunity to boredom. People from the 3rd row to the last but one do weird things to stay awake because tey are scared of the dude. People in the last row, like yours truly, just sleep.

2. Asssume a guy driving a motorbike. Very intelligent chap. So intelligent he thinks he doesn't need such acccessories like helmets. Assume he is driving at over 100kmph and suddenly out of a side street comes a Scorpio. Dude gets a free ticket to fly and lands on hospital bed with fractures or injuries everywhere from jaw to arms to region around gluteus maximus. So stuck on hospital bed. Only thing to see is the ceiling. Can't speak as jaw bandaged. cant move. cant even scratch his butt if some bug goes and irritates. Yeah it is boring and he chose to be there.(this reminds me of a brilliant ad for safe driving. driving at 40kmph may be boring. but a hospital ceiling is even more so!!!)

1. Undoubtedly the most boring job on Earth is that of a Goods train guard. No jokes. These guys are the furthest away from civilization inspite of in many cases being right in the middle of it. All they have to do is be 60 compartment away from the nearest human, sit in a caboose, and show the green flag if any train passes by. and yeah write down the kilometre mark in his log book where that train passed. then sit in your caboose doing nothing except wait for the next train. No one to speak to. Atleast the guy in the hospital can sleep!!

Add to this list. think of the most boring jobs that possibly can be there.

4 comments:

Surrealist said...

aw come on brat i actually enjoyed sankarans classes.its rbns classes that make me wanna wear a tie to college so that i have something at hand (or rather neck) to suffocate myself with instead of having to search for a rope!

Wowbagger T.I.P said...

Finally something that actually comes close to being funny... "I'd avoid myself?????" "chinese water torture??" lol.. Except for job no.4 it was a pretty good blog..

Neha Kumar said...

Am sure if you post this in Verve, CBT will have a good laugh and remember you forever! Just that you'll have to make sure Shakaran sir doesn't get his copy;)

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