Monday, August 27, 2007

angrezi is a phunny language indeed

Amitabh Bachchan and english

before the song 'my name is anthony gonsalves' starts

Wait wait wait! You see the whole country of the system is juxtapositioned by the haemoglobin in the atmosphere because you are a sophisticated rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity!(i know some people who actually fit he bill for the 2nd part of the sentence...you may say it makes no sense but i actually visited dictionary.com and found the meaning)


in namak halal

Lo kallo baat. Are aisi angrezi ave hain ke I can leave angrez behind (I know such English that I will leave the British behind)

I can talk english, I can walk english, I can laugh english, because english is a funny language. Bhairo becomes barren and barren becomes Bhairo because their minds are very narrow. (

In the year 1929 when India was playing Australia at the Melbourne stadium Vijay Hazare and Vijay Merchant were at the crease. Vijay Merchant told Vijay Hazare. look Vijay Hazare Sir , this is a very prestigious match and we must consider it very prestigiously. We must take this into consideration, the consideration that this is an important match and ultimately this consideration must end in a run.

In the year 1979 when Pakistan was playing against India at the Wankhede stadium Wasim Raja and Wasim Bari were at the crease and they took the same consideration. Wasim Raja told Wasim Bari, look Wasim Bari, we must consider this consideration and considering that this is an important match we must put this consideration into action and ultimately score a run. And both of them considered the consideration and ran and both of them got out.

paaam...paaam...paaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmm

chennai bus drivers are famous for their generosity when it comes to using swear words, sudden changes of lanes, sudden application of brakes(most men actually praise the driver for this, esp when they are standing near women) and using horns, especially the last.

I don't know if its something new, but the last three times i have traveled by bus , the horn seemed to have gotten louder. all the three times, by some weird luck i was standing close to the front exit of the bus, and the frequent shrieks of the horn almost split my ear-drum. the driver used the horn for no particular reason except presumably to give his fingers some exercise. on an empty road with no one in sight for miles, he would still go paaam...paaaam...paaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmm.... and each time he went paaam , i went fuck you, bastard. sadly, i think he didn't listen to this, or heard it as some actuating words(yeah!, i am preparing for the gre from barrons;-) ) and would evidently increase the frequency of the paaaming.

Thank God, i had small journeys(i always thought that plural of journey was journies, eveidently its not the case), and the torture would end soon enough, otherwise i would have been deaf by now. which, thinking about it, would actually be a boon the next time i travel by the MTC buses. at least my ears would be saved from torture by paaaming


appended on 5th sep

the horns actually are a wonder of acousttc design.... while travelling last week, was standing near the rear exit....this time also the driver was continuously paaaming but i barely heard him...actually i heard a sound very faintly once or twice and surmised it must be the horning.....this made quite a lot of things clearer...i guess whats true inside the bus, is also true outside.... so if a vehicle is real close to the bus, god save the ears of the driver, but if it were even 5 feet away, he is not going to hear anything....so bus driver mahashay continues paaaming and toturing....

Sunday, August 19, 2007

an evening of brilliance -(minus) 2

It was raining cats and dogs in chennai a couple of days ago. (Yeah right! dont bluff me....it rains water very rarely in chennai, so forget cats and other animals). but no, seriously, in the middle of august, on a day which had not a single dark cloud, the rains decided to surprise everyone in the evening, with their august presence. And they did not come alone. they brought along with them winds which blew palpably fast.(or was it the other way round, the winds bringing the rains)

And what do you guess i was doing, when the rain gods decided to have a field day. i was playing football. and i was playing the beautiful game after ages.

it was raining so heavily we couldn't make out who our teammates were. but who cared. all we had to do was see the ball, and give as hard as a kick you could up its arse. if you didn't the wet field would stop it prob 2 cms away. and then you get another chance to kick.

all of us knew that playing in these rains would result in sever joint pain, but yet no one budged from the field. a day or two of pain could easily be tolerated, for 2 hours of undistilled joy. at night when mosquitoes came calling, i couldn't scratch my leg, because my hand would pain if bent it at the wrists. in addition to all this while playing, i skidded on the wet field, and had fallen down, and had come to the conclusion my left buttock would never be the same again.

but the evening was worth all this and more. just one incident in the evening was worth it. someone from my opposite team sent a ball kicking high over our heads towards the goal. we were playing without goalies. so the goal basically was two vlc icons kept 2 feet apart from each other. the ball was rushing towards the goal, and water stopped it right before the goal. the opposition's forward made a dash for the ball. we had given up hope as we wouldn't have reached before him. so he ran, with no1 following, all alone, and tapped the ball, and what do you know, tapped wide!!!!he missed the goal from a distance of 1 foot. the laughter that roared through the field could be heard over the rain, thunder and winds.


as i told you i had gone o play football after ages, and so knew no one on the field. but none of it mattered. a gang of 15 people, a football, and rains from the skies together is spelt happiness. nothing more, nothing less.

an evening of brilliance

taal se taal mila
ramta jogi
ishq bina
rang de
aye ajnabi
chaiyya chaiyya
banno rani
bharat humko jaan se pyara hai
jiya jale
dile se
ek bagiya - sapne
gurus of peace
hai rama
hamma
kismat se tum
kya kare kya na kare
ma tujhe salaam
nahi same tu
pyar ye jaane kaisa re
rangeela
roja jaaneman
roshan hui raat
rut aa gayi re

this is how i spent my last 2 hours...aur kehna hi kya?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

hope

Even if you've lost everything else,
you still can keep hope.
When your stuck in the quick sand of life,
it'll be your saviour, like a length of rope.

When a door in front of you closes,
another opens up somewhere.
To get there it wont be a bed of roses,
but hope will definitely take you there.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

letter

i wrote this letter to get my mobile phone which was confiscated by the hostel authorities


4th August '07


Bharat Sridhar
A-63, A.C. Tech Hostel,
Anna University,
Chennai - 600 025

To
The Associate warden,
A.c.tech Hostel,
Anna University,
Chennai - 600 025


Sir

Sub: Use of mobile phones in the hostel

I understand that using mobile phones is baned in the hostel premises and I assure you that I won't be caught using it again.

Thanking You,

Yours Truly,


Bharat Sridhar