Music gives you wings

Last night, was randomly surfing channels when the I reached a channel playing Vennilave, from Minsara Kanavu. The tune is a well known intoxicant, and as it played through I got a kick I am sure even people addicted to potent drugs don't.

It had all symptoms. My mind felt relaxed. I was smiling for no particular reason. Other people speaking made no sense. The mind was completely immersed into the song. The next song that played was average, and i switched off the TV halfway through that song. The next dose in other words, had to be at least equally potent, if not more so.

Being addicted to Rahman's music is something great and I really do not mind being a peddler of this drug.

My biggest regret!!!

I have been thinking about it and have found my biggest regret to date. NO! Its not the fact that I haven't netted a girl in four years of college. Neither is it that I did not get a PhD admit. Its not even something like not being able to find a place in the Indian cricket team.

Its something far more substantial, and something I had full control of. Not having failed a single exam in my entire academic career till date. Forget an exam, I haven't even failed in an unit test.

I came mighty close on two occasions, but yet failed to fail. One was a unit test in electronics in my 11th standard. That was the only time my bad handwriting helped me pass. No one, not even the teachers knew the answers to the questions set. For most people in my class, who had good handwritings, the teachers would have felt extremely guilty to give marks to something obviously wrong. But in my case they wouldn't have been able to decipher what I had written, and would have come to the conclusion that there is a possibility that he has written some sense, so lets just ignore and give him pass marks. I got something like 22/50 and thus passed.

The second instance was in college. Bioprocess II. Here I had hardly any clue on what was happening, and the professor did. And very technically I failed the assessments. But this was in our 6th semester, the semester after which we are placed. The professor turned out to be a good guy, who didn't want an arrear to mar our chances to get a job. So he gave us a second chance. For all the people who failed in the internal assements, including me, he put the internal assessment score as 25/50 and thus essentially making us pass out assessments at least. So on record I still passed.

Well anyway I am mostly done with exams in the school or college sense, and will have to carry this regret with me till the end. Even if I do have to take such exams, looking at my record I hardly doubt that I will pass each of those.

The only silver lining in this dark cloud of regret is that I have never managed to cross 90% marks overall in any exam ever. I have been a consistent Mr. 80 - 90 %. And that speaks decently of my consistency!

Free Advise... Freely Given

It is so irritating. I am slowly becoming the old thatha that everyone fears. I hate people advising me, and I rarely if at all take up that advise. Unless that was the route i would have taken anyway. And similarly unless asked I would never give any suggestions. And even then only say what I did in a similar situation.

But when you are jobless and have nothing to do, you end up offering advise, that probably has no use to the person, but who listens to you anyway, as they have no other option.

I really hope that this does not get extrapolated and when I am really a thatha I don't pick random people and start off, "You have taken Biotechnoplogy, start searching for projectys and aim to do a phd. Its very easy to get through, I wqas a weird case. GRE is not important and you can score well anyway."

Oh! Hell! The thought is scary!

Maksat

I got thinking. What are my options ahead? And I came to the conclusion that there aren't too many. Its pretty irritating to realise for sure, that what Naseeruddin Shah says in Iqbal is true. "ज्यादा तर लोग, अपनी पूरी ज़िन्दगी बीता देते हैं यह जाने बगैर कि उनके जीने का मक्सत क्या हैं!"


Option 1: You have come so far and it hasn't hurt you yet. So makes sense to continue research.
Pro: Its a double positive. You'll have two careers. A researcher and a teacher. The odds favour liking both options and in any case definitely the latter.The second option being something that has always seemed like a calling. I have been doing it in one way or the other since the 9th standard. And it is I must say attractive. The changes of getting a position as a research scholar are also extremely good. No immediate financial liability either.
Con: In case it messes up you cannot even say the money is good and that is why I am in it.


Option 2: Get into the career of selling stuff or selling and buying companies selling stuff or a part thereof. Do an MBA.
Pro: Money will not be the issue ever.
Con: I really do not think I'll like selling stuff.

Option 3: Thanks to the education system and also honestly a natural disposition, the mind fits into the bureaucracy. So work for the government.
Pro: Odds favour job satisfaction being good.
Con: Too many people think the same way. The competition will be killing and the subjects that I have had to pass to become a B.Tech will not help me write the civil services exam. So getting the job will be almost impossible.

All other options are not pragmatic to consider at this juncture. Maybe a day will come when I am forced to consider them.

Till now option one and probably teaching seem to be जीने का मक्सत। 100 % conviction is still not there, but I must admit it is the closest to that figure that I have got to in memory. Even more convincing than, probably the feeling as a 7 or 8 year old that my ideal career would be an rail engine driver. The only issue is that though I know getting in would be a pain, option 3 still tugs a bit at the heart strings.

Thankfully I can sign

Today I will be giving my driving test to get my liecence. So was checking that my learner's liecence was in order. Well on seeing I was so thankful that ilearned to sign. See the image. I needn't say more.

Everybody loves to hate the media - and rightfully so

When we were in school, during the English composition class we were taught that while writing media reports, it was our duty to just report facts. And to report these facts without exaggeration. The other cardinal rule was a journalist wasn't supposed to express his opinions while reporting a story.

I presume they forgot to teach these rules to the news channels. Either that or the news channels consider themselves to not be providers of news but providers of sensationalism, hype and entertainment.

Case in the point, the recent grant of bail to Hafiz Sayeed in Pakistan. While reporting this, BBC(the only yardstick for non sensational news repoting left) flashed, "Lahore High court grants bail to head of Pakistani charity suspected of helping the accused involved in the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks" Reporting on the same issue Times Now flashed, "Remorseless Pakistan relases 26/11 mastermind." The other Indian English news channels followed a somewhat similiar rhetoric, just the treatment was less harsh. They would have variants of Pakistan releasing terror mastermind flashing on their respective screens. No mention of him being an alleged or accused mastermind. Just plain and simple mastermind. A claim which I think not even the Indian government made. The mastermind according to them was Lakhvi. And obviously the fact that the Pakistani government saw it as a loss in the court, and was going to appeal did't bother them. It was Pakistan and not the Lahore High court which released, not granted bail, to Hafiz Sayeed. I think, only NDTV which had the least harsh of the Indian narrative on this story, featured all these facts, but they also viewed all these facts with a skeptical and condescending tone towards Pakistan.

Another case in the point, the circus they have created out of Australia. Makes me think Ellsworth Toohey would have been extremely proud. I am so certain that between any two Indians being attacked and robbed, there would have been many more other Australians of different ethnicities being attacked. But that won't make a great story back home. The media created such a narrative that the Indian prime minister spoke to his Aussie counterpart on almost a non-issue converting it into an international problem. Emboldened by all this media hype, the Indian students are now protesting, sometimes turnig violent, and creating more fodder for Times Now, CNN iBN et al to have a field day.

The general elections were peppered with many such examples. Nitish Kumar around the time results were to be declared was posturing a bit. He made a statement that we are with anyone who provides Bihar with a special status. The comment was made at a function when he also suggested that the Public Distribution System was in shambles, and instead of providing subsidy in the form of cheaper goods, the government could provide everyone with some sort of credit card which can be given a monthly credit of the amount that is spent on subsidy anyway. And the people could then use this to buy goods from the market. Now, Arnab Goswami, who should technically be just reporting this, and leave the analysis to the viewer, gave his brilliant views. "Nitish wants special status for Bihar. He wants cash to be given instead of goods via the PDS. Very simply put, he is leaving the NDA." I have no clue how he came to that conclusion, but he did.

The "experts" that these channels call are even funnier. They are called to give their opinions but some of them seriously make you want to laugh. Especially if its about our poor neighbours, Pakistan or from our poor neighbours. The Indian experts without fail will have a condescending and extreemely narrow view of Pakistan and Pakistanis whereby the Pakistani army has only one job and that is to hurt India, and the pakistani government is a puupet controlled by the army and almost any terror happening in India is because of the ISI. This could be fact, but the way the experts talk makes it sound only like propaganda. The best would be when a Pakistani experts speaks a little sanely. I hear one Indian "expert" say in an extremely condescending tone, Mr. X, you seem to be a moderate andPakistani, but I think what you say is wrong. I mean that almost assumes everyone else in Pakistan is an extremist.

The view from the other side is equally bad. All Pakistani experts will believe that most accused terrorists from Pakistan are innocent and almost everything happening in Pakistan is because of R&AW. Somthing that could well be true, but listening to the experts it only sounds like something one could laugh along with.

Sometimes I feel the only news that is worth watching come on 'The week that wasn't" or delivered by the puppets of NDTV. At least they don't wear a facade of seriousness and self importance.

But i guess the news channels need to catch eyeballs if they want to survive. And to catch eyeballs they will have to in most cases give standards a goodbye kiss. More people will watch when an Indian and Pakistani fight egged on by the journalist rather than some drab ssounding people stating facts and analysing it objectively!

Couplets

Was cleaning my room (I actually did that, but yes after maybe 6 months of living in the most chaotic room in campus, which had amongst its highlights a 2 foot thick carpet of old newspapers) and found my old note. It had a couple of poems I had written in I think an immunlogy class with the sole purpose of getting out of boredom( which anyone who has read my blog(a total count of 3 people i think) would have realised is the sole purpose of anything i write). The theme I chose that day was romance, if possible extra sugary, and hence hopelessly bad but decently tasty!

1.)

Improbable as it may sound
To you my heart is bound
This shackle I don't wish to break
Please become mine
Oh! Bitter sweet black forest cake!!!

2.)
Pretty woman baking in sunshine
After I met you
My heart has not been mine
with you is where I wish to be
My dear Limca, Lime n' Lemony

The Messenger

You might have heard people talking in their sleep. You might have seen people walking in their sleep. But have you heard of anyone sending text messages in their sleep. Not texting in their dreams but actually smsing while asleep. I guess, probably not. Well don't worry. You now know. Me.

This happened a couple of years ago. My grandmother had passed away about a week before that day. And some rituals were to be performed that day. A lot of relatives had assembled in my home, but noone amongst those people knew how to sms. In any case i go off to sleep. NIght passes off pleasantly,
But at around 6.15 a.m Naren calls me asking: where the hell are you? I am waiting by the bus stop. Come quickly so that we can go to college and play tennis.
Me: (blabbering) some rituals to be performed. Can't come.
Naren: Then why the fuck did you message me about an hour ago saying you have left home and on the way to the bus stop.
Me: I thought only I am blabbering. Go bacvk to sleep. I never sent such a message.
Naren: Arsehole. Tension yettadai. Its there in my inbox and it'll be there in your outbox.
Me: Anyway can't come today. will meet you tomo.

Well that woke me up alright. I still didn't couldn't believe I sent the message. I didn't have the faintest memory. So i actually go and check the outbox. And what do you know? The message was actually there. A longish message, sent at 5 a.m saying that I would be at the bus stop in ten minutes. The message had a smiley after every second word. Definitely not my style. So i start thinking who would have sent such a message. But definitely noone in my house. Completely perplexed me, and also slightly spooked me out. Couldn't believe i sent it, and also rejected the idea i messaged it in my sleep. As i felt it would be impossible to cross half the room to reach the mobile, unlock it, go to the create message option, type the message and send it.

But a couple of days ago read in the newspaper, in the science section, someone sent an e-mail in their sleep. That is even crazier. As here you have to even type in passwords. This incident completely surprised neuroscientists as they believed sleep walking involved only simple motor functions and not complex usage of cognitive ability. Well when i read it I remembered my message, and concluded reluctantly that I must have sent the message in my sleep.

If i do something even crazier I'll post here. Sexiest thing would be if I actually sign in and write a blog article while asleep. Wait a second I don't remeber writing this. No chance. Was this in my sleep. I don't know.

You haven't got mail

From experiences over the past month or so, I have begun to understand at least partially how communication used to be in the old days. In so many movies , you watch the protagonist bug the postman, as to whether any mail has arrived(Pather Panchali, though in a different context, was the last movie in which i saw this). Especially when he is expecting the results of some job application or test. And then when the postman replies in the negative, see the protoganist give a look of extreme dejection, and sometimes extreme desperation.

Well, these days most of my friends and me do the same thing. Except that instead of bugging the postman, each day we sign into our mail ids, just to see INBOX (0). And in the rare case that you do have unread mail, open the inbox just to see that you have a mail from WINDOWS LIVE telling you about IM! in love. As though you care if windows live is in love with yahoo who decided to jilt his advances.

I guess at least in the old days you could have bugged the postman as to whether he was sure that no mail addressed to me has come. You could also tell him that it would be extremely nice if he would deliver the mail from ABC university as soon as he sees it. And possibly when he does deliver it, see some sort of happiness on his face too. In this context, e-mail is extremely frustrating. Here you can't even vent your frustrations at hotmail or gmail.

Another incident that makes me reminesce about postal mail was ironically an e-mail ireceived from a friend recently. The mail was one of those nice mails, which people write for no particular reason except to keep in touch. It rambled about and talked about a lot of things and about nothing. And as I was reading it, it made me think how nice would it have been, if such a mail had come out of the blue, by post. Joy, I guess, is delivered in packages like these.

But noone writes mail like that anymore. Not even in the English composition period at school, which incidentally was the last time I wrote such a letter. It would be nice if people (including me) get back to the habit of letter writing and then sending them by post!!!